I don’t understand

I’m so confused…i can’t stop crying with random bursts of hysteria…why is this my reaction?

I dont understand why I am so upset…is it jealousy…you are my ex..mybest friend…she was a fling the first time we hung out…you wanted to compete for me…yet she is now sleeping in your bed as your friend?

Does it make sense for me to be upset and jealous and uncomfortable and not okay with that?

I know I have no right here…i want you here beside me telling me my feelings are valid…holding me…taking all temptatioms away….I cut tonight for the first time since may.

I dont know why…i dont understand why…it felt so good and it was so hard to stop…i didnt want to stop…it looks so pretty now

I dont want to worrymy friends and family.. I know I will get out of this episode but right now I just want you to holdme.

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