I should be happy

How bad is it that part of me wishes I never met her?

Would I have been able to win you back?

You told me you wanted me to fight for you but how could I do that to your girlfriend?

It’s not fair.

Im laying next to her but it’s your face that I see looking back at me.

You were my entire life, my love forever and always.

You are supposed to be the one holding me tight right now, telling me everything will be okay.

But it’s not you.

Will it work out with her? I really don’t know.

I worry that it won’t because I am still completely in love with you.

How is it that I am feeling like this when I was unhappy when we were together?

Why hadn’t I tried harder? Why hadn’t you?

I keep listening to these songs, reminding me of all the reasons why. Why I miss you. Why we aren’t together. Why I still love you.

I just want you to call me up and tell me I am yours forever and you will never leave.

Instead you are with her. Isn’t she cute, you say as a dagger goes through my heart.

Instead I am with her. Shouldn’t I be happy I found someone who makes me smile?

I should be happy… But I’m not.

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