Mom, once again I have failed you. You asked me to do such simple things this week and I couldn’t even do them. I tried. I really did. I just ran out of time like I always do.
Dad, once again I have failed you. You needed me to learn how to do simple tasks. Instead of being there and listening to you, I chose to go out and have fun. I told you I knew what I was doing. I lied. I have no idea what I’m doing. So I didn’t do it and I am sorry.
Daddy, once again I have failed you. You came over to spend time with me but instead of being the babygirl you love, I was a cranky bitch. I finally snapped out of that and instead became a blubbering mess. I am so sorry that you have me as a burden. I am so frustrated by everything right now, I promise it’s not just you. You deserve so much happiness and I’m sorry I can’t be what you thought I was. I’m sorry I struggle with my own insecurities. And I am so sorry I’m not as easy going as you want me to be. I’m sorry I’m me.
A, once again I have failed you. You just wanted to help but I couldn’t let you. I don’t want you to see me like this. I want to be so strong around you and tonight I’m a ball of weakness. I couldn’t let this part of me show. I’m so sorry I forced you away and made you mad.
Me, once again I have failed you. I am so sorry that I always fuck everything up. I’m sorry I got your hopes up and had to squash them. I’m sorry I freaked when everything changed. I’m sorry I made it crash and burn. I’m sorry I have to be so…me.
My BPD Monster 